March 24th 2025
Been having a bit of bother with the videos lately.
Some are still up on xhamster and xvideos, but quite a few are offline now
due to (sudden and sometimes arbitrary) changes in verification rules.
Not completely sure what my final plan is,
but I'm giving JustForFans another go.
Mostly posting the old stuff and solo videos on there,
see where it goes after that.
February 27th 2025
Oily and enlarged.
September 13th 2024
Wet and hench after a swim at Mugdock Park in August
September 8th 2024
From when there was a bit of sun.
Thursday 13th June 2024
No updates for ages,
so here's two recent photos from last month,
titled 'Bulge' & 'Bulge, released'.
Tuesday 14th November 2023
My filthy novella
sub/Dom: as romantic as it gets
is available to download from
Saturday 9th September 2023
Those videos are finally up -
Three Masseurs, One Table (part one of three)
Three Masseurs, One Table (part two of three)
Three Masseurs, One Table (part three of three)
Very much is what the title says,
taking turns on the table with @sensualtouchco
and Damien, who advertises as Wholeheartedly on Rentmasseur.
Saturday 1st July 2023
New videos,
coming soon.
Three masseurs,
all kinds of combinations.
Wednesday 15th February 2023
New video -
Blindfolds abound in a sensual massage session
with @sensualtouchco
The padded blindfold gives me the look of a space-age Biggles
but hopefully other things in the video will distract you from that.
Sunday 6th November 2022
Been ages since I did an update
and even longer since I had new photos,
so here's an update
- I'm still here -
and here's two big naked photos, titled
'Good Times' and 'Bum Times'.
Saturday 16th April 2022
New video -
As the title suggests, it's a sensual massage with added leather restraints.
Filmed at The Bunker (shortly before it closed down)
with @HUNGKDMD as the willing hooded sub.
March 2nd 2022
In the words of Charlotte Church:
I love it when you call my name
Both ends of the candle
burnt by the flame
I love it when you call my name
October 31st 2021
I still am working, I have been working,
but I've been a bit slack keeping this page updated.
In recompense,
here's another photo of me looking stoic.
Don't call me Master or Daddy or Sir,
call me Captain Bob.
May 17th 2021
Now open for hugs and such.
March 29th 2021
Can it be? Has it really been a year
since this Update page morphed into an unhinged wank diary?
Yes, you know it has, and as we slowly re-hinge,
with one eye on early April,
let's take a moment to remember a year
when even masturbation started to lose its flavour.
February 15th 2021
The Mountaineers are gone.
(That's that in-joke finally dead. He was lovely tho.)
And in an Update to a (partial) retraction of an Update in a previous Update...
I'm back on Twitter, twice
(details on the About me page).
Obviously, I'm thrilled to once again be adding to the thrashing squall
that is the never-ending noise of social media.
Come Follow.
February 8th 2021
"I felt a great disturbance in the [sex] Force,
as if millions of [penises] suddenly cried out in [fucking frustration] and were suddenly silenced."
Obi-Wan (Dirty Old Man) Kenobi
So, where are we then?
Take a moment, sniff and lap at the air, let your sex chakras attune to the background man-vibes...
we appear to be sometime last June.
Still technically strictly-speaking legally-actually okay-literally in lockdown,
but that in-between-y feeling has started to creep back in, no?
Just seems to make your cock ache more in the strangest of ways.
I chanced upon a couple of porn scenes online a couple of days ago,
a one-on-one and a big group session filmed at the Bunker dungeon in Central London,
and as I watched, having played and filmed there myself, my raging horn
was tinged with a pining nostalgia.
Quite the layered, internal conflict to wrestle with
when all you want is a quick tug.
January 10th 2021
Are you
once again
climbing the walls
for a hole in the brickwork to fuck?
December 31st 2020
That last update, about having a Twitter account and a JustForFans page?
Yeah, scrub that.
First it was confusing, then it was exciting and re-invigorating, then confusing again, then sort of nothing,
then confusing again, then a bit of a ballache, and then finally...
that sweet decisive relief of deactivating and deleting an online profile, twice in this case.
It's a little annoying that my first "Update that's an actual Update"
has turned into a (partial) retraction, but fuckit.
Happy New Year.
Fresh pages and deep breaths all round.
December 23rd 2020
Due to Pornhub changing their verification policy and purging their sites of over 10 million videos, mine included,
my free-to-view massage videos are now on xhamster
Most of the videos that were on xtube are on there, or will soon be, but a few won't, because, in the spirit of change,
and in an attempt to find something to occupy my mind which isn't comic books or masturbation,
I've set up a page on JustForFans
which also means, after many many years of holding out,
I'm now also on Twitter
So there you go, an Update that's an actual Update.
I mean, it's Christmas, it's a tier 4 lockdown, but you knew that already, right?
I had plans for a winter solstice massage session on Monday there, a sort of pagan-lite ritualistic anointing of the naked male body.
It was going to involve candles.
Ah well, it can keep another year.
December 9th 2020
I should have been on the 9:10 from Euston to Glasgow this morning,
was humming and hawing until the night before about whether to go or not,
still had tentative plans and my (cheap) advance ticket booked and ready,
but no, decided not to, best not to, blah blah blah.
So here I am, travelling the alternate timeline,
that strange pleasure of now being somewhere and doing something
when I should have been elsewhere doing something complete different.
November 5th 2020
"One November
spawned a monster
in the shape of this [second national lockdown]"
Without fail, whenever anything bad happens in November, I bastardise Morrissey.
October 17th 2020
For a small fee, if you send me your postcode,
I'll make a short video clip of me masturbating whilst reading out the lockdown restrictions in your area.
Please note:
no refunds if lockdown restrictions in your area change
in the time between me shooting my load and washing the cum off my hands.
August 31st 2020
For months I thought the end of lockdown would be signified by a haircut.
I thought, that'll be the moment of stepping back into normality.
So I let my hair grow, ended up sporting a barnet with more bounce than Pan's People.
But nothing is clear cut, is it? It was probably never going to be.
Lockdown sort of ended sort of hasn't, barbers opened but things were still weird.
So I kept my weird hair.
And that definitely suited my mood: weird. Until it didn't.
Things are still wonky, no doubt, but really,
there's only so many times you can wash massage oil and spunk out of your unkempt tresses before thinking,
I should probably get myself a short back and sides again.
Please note: that look on my face, that's commonly known as 'the chummy gurn'.
It's what happens when you want to take a selfie but you don't know what to do with yourself.
As pained and smug as it looks, enjoy the novelty -
in over a decade of advertising online, it's the closest I've ever gotten to a smile in a photo.
August 22nd 2020
Masks aren't mandatory, but sometimes they're fun...
